Hiatus

Hey all.  Real life is starting to pick up a little now, so I'm not going to make regular posts to this blog for the foreseeable future.  I might post something once in a while, but the biweekly reviews are out.  I hope you enjoyed and continue to enjoy what I've already posted. :)

Iron Man #126-#128

 

 So far we have seen:

Justin Hammer make it look like Iron Man killed someone important.

A whole lotta booze.
Iron Man coin a new catchphrase.
DAMN YOUR METALLIC HIDE!
Tony and Rhodey get caught by a mysterious army with no fashion sense. 

We’ll begin the final chapter of this four-part review with a side note full of Iron Man 2 spoilers behind the cut.

Iron Man #123-#125

So far we have seen:

Sub-Mariner hating everyone

Justin Hammer experiment with turning the Iron Man suit into a remote control toy
A giant corporation persecuting a harmless old man
Because hey, this is fiction, not real life or anything
Iron Man’s origin story because screw it, they can

Iron Man #120-#122

 

So far we have seen:

Not much, actually.

SHIELD begin their attempts to totally-legally-you-guys take over Stark International.
Tony decide that alcohol is a good way to deal with annoying people.
A decision which will not come back to bite him in the butt in any way, shape or form.
…I wasn’t kidding, nothing happened.

Iron Man #117-#119

I’ve talked a little about how comics took a turn for the goofy after the 1954 Senate investigation into the effects of comic books on juvenile delinquency. (Spoiler alert: There were none.)  As a result of the hearings and the bad publicity they engendered, the Comics Code Authority was established.  Its job was to prevent such wayward influences as bad grammar, “sex perversion” (read: non-straight people), and say-no-to-drugs messages from infiltrating our comic books. By the early 1970s, the CCA’s influence slackened just enough to allow two important supporting characters—Harry Osborn from Marvel and Roy Harper from DC—to be revealed as drug addicts without their respective publishers running into significant trouble.  Ten years later, having a comic book tackle such serious topics as race relations, homelessness, and addiction was practically the norm.  That’s not to say these topics were all handled well, but a wobbly first step is better than none at all.

And that brings us to today’s topic: Demon in a Bottle, one of the more famous of Marvel’s Bronze Age attempts at sincerity.  It’s a big ‘un, so be sure to check back throughout the next few weeks to see how this arc develops.

"The Man from the Edge of Tomorrow", Parts One and Two - Legion of Superheroes

Speaking of short-lived superhero cartoons, let’s turn our attention to Legion of Superheroes for a moment, shall we?

As a team, the Legion of Superheroes—a group of crime-fighters from 31^st century (New) Metropolis—doesn’t exactly have the greatest reputation.  Usually when I hear about them, it’s because someone is making fun of the perceived lameness of their membership, and with members like Matter-Eater Lad, I can’t really blame them.  (At least they had the sense to reject Arm-Fall-Off Boy.)  But someone somewhere must have thought them capable of turning a profit, because in 2006, a cartoon based on these half-baked heroes debuted on the CW (then called the WB).

Season One started with a young Superman traveling to the future and chillin’ with the Legion, consisting of, among others, Brainiac 5, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, and Lightning Lad, most of whom have pretty self-explanatory powers.  It ended with Superman going back to his own time, and then came Season Two. 

"Lonely Heart"/"A Friend in High Places" - Sky Dancers

 

…

…

…sigh.

Detective Comics #233

The 1950s have got to be the absolute lowest ebb for the American comic book.  At the urging of psychiatrist Fredric Wertham, the U.S. Senate had spent several months in 1954 investigating the supposed link between comic books and juvenile delinquency.  And while Wertham’s primary concern was that horror comics were too gruesome for children (and, from what I’ve seen, he was right), the highly publicized Senate hearings affected all but the most innocent and infantile of comics—and that meant superhero comics were about to take a hit as well.  Publishers sank left and right, putting hundreds of writers and artists out of work.  Even Marvel, now a seemingly indestructible titan of the industry, would end up cancelling 82% of its titles and firing much of its staff by the end of 1957. 

It was into this hostile environment that Kathy Kane, the first Batwoman, was born.

Amazing Spider-Man vs. the Prodigy #1

You know when comic books make good public service announcements?  Never.  Or at least, this comic isn’t an example of one.  It was published in 1976 and is now in the public domain, presumably because Marvel wants nothing more to do with the thing.

Spitballing - Thor

Alternate Title: Thor From The Point Of View Of Someone Who Just Got Through Reading The Poetic Edda And The Prose Edda And Is Going To Be Pretentious About It

Freakazoid!, Season Two

 

A few months ago, I reviewed Season One of the 90s cartoon Freakazoid!, which defied all conventional logic but still managed to be one of the funniest superhero shows I’d ever seen.  Today, I’m going to review Season Two, which continues to defy all conventional logic but still manages to be one of the funniest superhero shows I’ve ever seen. Welp, that about covers it.  Can I go home now?  No?  Ah, well.  It’s not like writing about superhero stuff is hard.

The (Comic) Book Was Better - Under the (Red) Hood

 

I hear there used to be an old saying about comic books, how only three characters ever stayed really and truly dead: Uncle Ben, Bucky and Jason Todd.  Well, in January 2005, Marvel decided to stomp all over that axiom by resurrecting Bucky Barnes as the slightly unstable and infinitely more complex Winter Soldier.  The very next month, DC followed suit by resurrecting Jason Todd as the slightly unstable and infinitely more complex Red Hood.  I eagerly await the day when Marvel revives Uncle Ben only for DC to overshadow this event by reviving Thomas Wayne, but until then, let’s talk about Jason Todd and how both comic and cartoon have handled his return.

Highlander

 

I guess if you want to get picky, Highlander isn’t your typical superhero movie.  There’s no aliens or adoring/condemning public or big flashy costumes, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone refer to the title character as a superhero.  Then again, it does feature a good guy fighting a bad guy, rescuing damsels in distress and generally being a broody loner, so I say it counts.

Thor and the Warriors Four #3-#4

So far we have seen:

A bunch of kids display more sense than Peter Parker
No, I will not stop with the One More Day jokes, darnit
Thor agree to help the kids save their grandmother, if he can
An incredibly helpful nurse
An incredibly helpful old guy
An incredibly helpful person who turns out to be Loki
The Enchantress turn all of the adults present into toddlers
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Thor and the Warriors Four #1-#2

 

I hear a lot of complaints about how comics nowadays are just too dark and gritty.  Most of those complaints come from me.  So imagine my happy surprise when I discovered this delightful four-part story from 2010 in which no one gets maimed or axed, our heroes hardly angst at all, and even the villains are all snuggly-wuggly!

(Also, that first cover is a liar.  Thor doesn’t even show up until Issue Two.  I don’t know why this surprises me.)

Identity Crisis #7

So far, we have seen:

Jack Drake and Captain Boomerang prove that stupidity is both contagious and fatal.

Green Arrow never shutting up.

Flash discover that the League mind-wiped Batman.

Because they are terrible, terrible people.

Green Arrow (SHUT UP FOR ONCE) extol the infallible awesomeness that is Teh Mask.^TM

Everyone simultaneously suspect Ray of being the serial killer for no good reason.

Also, before we begin, I’d just like to post a correction about a point I made last time.  I spent some time complaining about Green Arrow’s “the mask solves everything” (il)logic, and one of the arguments I made was that Ray Palmer’s mask didn’t protect Jean Loring from being attacked.  I actually did some research and discovered that Ray’s identity was public by this point, and much like with Ralph Dibny, we never get a good counterargument for why he’d be willing to risk his loved ones’ lives that way.  I still stand by the argument in general, however, because Robin and Superman’s identities are not public and their relatives were still threatened.

Okay now. *cracks knuckles* Let’s finish this. 

Identity Crisis #5-#6

 

So far, we have seen:

Dr. Light regaining his memories

Dr. Light cleared of murdering Sue Dibny five seconds later

The League reveal their addiction to mind-wiping their villains (YOU NEED HELP, YOU GUYS)

Jean Loring attacked by…?

The League be stupid

The League be stupid

The League be stupid

Lois Lane threatened by…?

Identity Crisis #3-#4

So far, we have seen:

Ralph Dibny wax poetic about his beautiful wonderful wife who in no way will meet a tragic demise in about ten pages, nosirreebob

Okay, so I lied
The saddest funeral in the history of comicdom
I’m not lying about that (seriously, bring tissues)
Our heroes jump so far to so many conclusions they must all be part flea
Dr. Light retconned into a rapist because DRAMA
I mean the male Dr. Light, not the heroine
Why would give yoursel the same names as a villain, anyway?
I mean really, that is just asking for trouble, lady, what were you thinking?
Our “heroes” about to get pwned by Deathstroke the Terminator

Identity Crisis #1-#2

 

Continuing the tradition I started last year—specifically, discussing wretched and horrible things during the month of February—I will spend the next four weeks reviewing DC’s seven-issue miniseries Identity Crisis, released in 2004.

Now, yes, Linkara the Great and Powerful sort of reviewed this one in the form of a top 15 list that detailed his biggest problems with the series.  He says he avoided an actual review out of respect for those readers who still like Identity Crisis and think it was a good story.  Me, I’m not that noble, so here is a full-blown, step-by-step critique on what makes it so terrible.  Because liking something doesn’t make it not terrible.  Trust me, I listen to “Barbie Girl” for fun.

AND, as with the comics I reviewed last February, if you feel uncomfortable reading discussions and depictions of rape, you may want to hang out at Cute Overload for the rest of the month instead of this blog.

Freakazoid!, Season One

 

After all the whininess in my last review, I figured you might like something that’s stupid in a good way.  Fortunately, this show is full of it.
 

Spider-Man 2

Back in June, I devoted an entire entry to ranting about how confused and ridiculous 2002’s Spider-Man is, no matter what the bulk of the critics and movie-goers would have you believe.  I don’t want to drive a stake through it or anything.  It’s just a bad movie.  Surprisingly enough, I was not driven out of the superhero fandom on a rail for expressing this opinion, so here I am, testing my luck again by reviewing the equally stupid 2004 sequel, Spider-Man 2.