Detective Comics #233

The 1950s have got to be the absolute lowest ebb for the American comic book.  At the urging of psychiatrist Fredric Wertham, the U.S. Senate had spent several months in 1954 investigating the supposed link between comic books and juvenile delinquency.  And while Wertham’s primary concern was that horror comics were too gruesome for children (and, from what I’ve seen, he was right), the highly publicized Senate hearings affected all but the most innocent and infantile of comics—and that meant superhero comics were about to take a hit as well.  Publishers sank left and right, putting hundreds of writers and artists out of work.  Even Marvel, now a seemingly indestructible titan of the industry, would end up cancelling 82% of its titles and firing much of its staff by the end of 1957. 

It was into this hostile environment that Kathy Kane, the first Batwoman, was born.

As you might have already guessed, since this was the era of all things wholesome and non-feministy, this comic wastes absolutely no time in making me rage.

 

Would any comic book writer in his right mind call Batman a boy?  No?  Then QUIT CALLING BATWOMAN A GIRL.  Also, I hope everyone here loves the word glamorous, because that and feminine are the only adjectives in this writer’s vocabulary.

The story, called simply “The Batwoman,” begins as most Bat-stories do: with Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson responding to the Bat-signal.  They head out to the airport to stop a robbery, but when they get there, they have been beaten to the punch by a mysterious woman in spandex.

 
One: No one in Gotham is allowed to wear a Batman suit?  That must suck all the fun out of Halloween.  Two: How is that Batman costume?  It’s a completely different cut, style, color… she didn’t even put a bat on her chest!  This has to be the most lax definition of a Batman costume ever.  I bet if Superman forgot to put the S’s on his costume and flew into Gotham, he’d be arrested for wearing a Batsuit, too.

Batman wants to follow Batwoman to figure out her secret identity and put her out of business, but she warns him that revealing her identity will mean revealing his own as well.  She manages to escape down a narrow alley.

 

This is the real reason why he built the Bat-tumbler.

The next night, Batman and Robin look for her again, this time at a movie premiere because… um… because women like movies I guess…?  The important part is that they stumble across a jewel thief trying to steal a movie star’s necklace, but before they can act, Batwoman swoops in and saves them... with a compact mirror!  Because she’s a woman!  And women use make-up!  Get it?  Eh?  Eh?!!

Still, you can’t argue with results.  The next day, the papers are crowing all about how Batwoman saved Batman’s life, and I guess that’s supposed to be humiliating because women should be cleaning ovens, not clocks.  Batman is determined to stop her, because a full-grown woman fighting crime is WAY less acceptable than a teenage boy in hot pants fighting crime.  Trufax. 

(Actually, Batman says that he wants to stop her for her own safety, but he doesn’t dispute Robin when the little misogynist-in-training says that the notion of “a girl saving you” is “ridiculous,” so the Dark Knight ain’t exactly winning points with me at the moment.)

Meanwhile, Batwoman tells us her origin, revealing that she is former circus star Kathy Kane, and that she was able to realize her dream of becoming a crime-fighter after her uncle conveniently died and conveniently left her a conveniently hefty inheritance.

 

You know, I really, really, really want to yell at Bruce for thinking so little of Batwoman and automatically assuming she’s only fighting crime for the lulz when she really did train hard and knows what she’s doing, but that purse keeps murdering my arguments.

Back in the story, Kathy Kane hosts a big party to which Bruce Wayne is invited.  Inevitably, they meet.

 

…But if it’s such a gay affair, why did Bruce leave Dick at home? *slaps self*

Bruce and Kathy chit-chat about their admiration for Batman and Batwoman, which is funny because they ARE Batman and Batwoman but the other doesn’t know it.  Or something.  Just as the party ends, the Bat-signal appears in the sky, and our hero and his emasculating tagalong rush to get into costume.  Batwoman beats Batman to the scene of the crime, which is a nightclub called the Tomorrow Club.

 

That’s one thing I genuinely admire about the Silver Age—the settings are incredibly creative.  Nowadays, everything’s in warehouses and abandoned factories.  Don’t even try to tell me you don’t want to go to a club shaped like a rocket with fake Martian and Venusian stuff inside.  I know you’re lying.  And it leads to some interesting visuals as Batwoman and Batman try to find the vandal who is tearing the place apart.

 

Batwoman nets the crook with a giant hairnet (…) while Batman is unconscious.  She’s tempted to remove his mask before he wakes, but ultimately decides that wouldn’t be sporting, since the only reason he’s out cold is because he was saving her.

The vandal, meanwhile, turns out to be a member of one-shot villain Hugo Vorn’s gang, and he refuses to say what he was doing at the Tomorrow Club.  Batman hypothesizes that he was a distraction so that the rest of Vorn’s gang can pull off a robbery in peace someplace else and—surprise, surprise—Batman is right.

 

Blimp and fast are not words I would ever put in the same sentence, but whatever you say.  It should come as no surprise to anyone that Batman, Robin and Batwoman makes short work of these losers.

So the villain is defeated, the day is saved, and there’s just one thing left for the Dynamic Duo to do—get rid of Batwoman.  That’s simple enough, as Batman has deduced her true identity due to her use of circus-specific slang terms like “scratch riders.”  You’d think Robin would be the one to figure it out, then, considering he grew up in a circus, but maybe he was just afraid of being punished if he figured out a vital clue before the great Batman.

Batman and Robin do that stalkery thing they do and are waiting in Kathy’s Batcave when she arrives.  Batman successfully convinces her to give up her life of thoroughly effective crime-fighting by pointing out that “if I found you out, crooks could do so, too, eventually!”

Well by THAT definition, Batman should hang up his cowl as well.  Batwoman had ample opportunity to discover his identity back at the Tomorrow Club, and if she could figure it out, then anyone could do so too eventually, right?  Just because she was honorable enough to leave his mask alone doesn’t mean anyone else would do the same, yet Batman seems to have no problem pulling this hypocritical, sieve-like argument just to get the woman out of the picture.  Clearly there is no honor among crime-fighters, and Batwoman’s only real fault was in not pulling off Batman’s mask when she had the chance. 

Well there you have it folks.  The very first appearance by the very first Batwoman, and boy does it make me cry.  The story and artwork aren’t too bad by 1950s standards, but Batwoman is a product of her era in the worst way imaginable.  Not only does she come off looking ridiculous, but now I want to punch our so-called heroes in their condescending faces.  Adding a female crime-fighter may have looked good in theory, but the execution is… I think the most generous I can be in this situation is to describe it as unfortunate.

I think most comic nerds know the true motivation behind the introduction of Batwoman, but for those who don’t, here’s some fun trivia for you.  As I said, Fredric Wertham was mainly concerned with horror and crime comics, but nowadays he’s mostly remembered for accusing Batman and Robin of being gay together.  The solution?  MOAR WIMMINZ!!1!  Batwoman, Batgirl, Aunt Agatha, and I’m sure others were all introduced to drown the supposed gay undertones… and judging by the amount of slash fic on the internet they failed horribly.

But while Batwoman may have helped keep the religious groups off DC’s back, the character herself is portrayed, from a modern standpoint anyway, in a horribly sexist light.  The story as a whole may have aged no worse than any of the other Silver Age silliness, but Batwoman is treated—by both the characters and the comic—as reckless and ridiculous even though her origin story is basically Robin’s, and she gets injured and kidnapped way less than Wonder Boy. 

The only person who isn’t dead-set against Batwoman is the writer, Edmond Hamilton.  True, he constantly refers to Batwoman as a “girl,” but he also goes out of his way to point out how useful she is in a fight and that she did train hard to prepare for her role as a caped crusader.  Unfortunately, most of those brownie points are cancelled out by the fact that he is constantly reminding us of her womanhood by describing her as a “mystery girl” and the like, while Batman is referred to as “a champion of the law,” further invalidating her as a legitimate crime-fighter.  And of course, there’s the fact that she beats people up with powder puffs.

Many creations of the fifties were quietly disposed of throughout the following decades, with Batwoman dying at the hands of Ra’s Al Ghul in 1979.  My sole consolation is that I only have to wait fifty years for Kate Kane to come along and show them all who’s boss.

 

 

Oh yeah.

Next Time: It’s Gonzo’s final trip to the Wingdom!  Will anyone have the gall to develop a distinct personality?

Images from Detective Comics #233 and Batwoman #0

 

Hey, I just noticed I'm posting this on the first day of LGBT Pride Month.  I'm going to pretend that was intentional so I can take credit for the awesome idea.