Freakazoid!, Season One

 

After all the whininess in my last review, I figured you might like something that’s stupid in a good way.  Fortunately, this show is full of it.
 

Brought to you by the same beloved brains behind Animaniacs and Tiny Toon Adventures, Freakazoid! debuted on September 9, 1995 on the WB (now the CW).  The lead character is, of course, Freakazoid, a.k.a. Unapologetic Madman Rip-off, a.k.a. teenage computer nerd Dexter Douglas.  Due to a highly specific flaw in a computer chip he’s just installed, Dexter is sucked into the internet and reemerges as the funny, frenetic, and freaked out Freakazoid.  Thanks to kilt-wearing mentor Roddy MacStew (just go with it), Dexter learns how to control his transformations: to become Freakazoid, he says “freak out,” and to change back to Dexter, he says “freak in.”  And, naturally, he decides to use his loony alter-ego to get girls to defend his hometown, Washington D.C.

Now unlike with your standard superhero alter-egos, Dexter and Freakazoid really do have to be looked at as two near-separate entities; they certainly know about each other, but it’s more of a split personality kind of deal.  Sometimes they even talk to each other…

 
…but the full potential of this idea was never fully realized, as they didn’t interact this way very often.  In fact, I can’t think of any examples off the top of my head except for the one I got that picture from.  Maybe it’s because Dexter learned to control the transformations so quickly, but it’s kind of a shame.  I would have liked to see Freakazoid take control while Dexter was trying not to fail an exam or something.

By himself, Dexter is pretty much your standard geek-granted-extraordinary-powers type character, in case you couldn’t tell by the fact that his name is Dexter.  Really, the only reason he’s interesting is because he has demented versions of the Cleavers for relatives.  There’s his older brother Duncan, who bullies Dexter but is scared to death of Freakazoid; his dad Douglas (yes, Douglas Douglas), an expert at comic obliviousness; and his mother Debbie, who I think must have been the victim of a Joker attack at some point.

 

There’s also Stephanie, the girl of Dexter’s dreams… and, of course, she is far more interested in Freakazoid than in dweeby dorky Dexter.  She’s pretty standard as far as “girlfriend-type characters” go, though she is given a slightly expanded role in Season Two.  Rounding out the main cast is Cosgrove, Freakazoid’s deadpan cop buddy who mostly serves to distract our hero just as he’s about to investigate the latest crime. (“Hey, Freakazoid, you wanna head over to the Great Hall of Spackle?” “DO I!!!!”)

Perhaps aside from Stephanie, who doesn’t have much to do this season, Cosgrove is the closest we get to a normal character, affinity for spackle notwithstanding.  It’s fun watching how he interacts with all the crazy.

Season One tended to split each episode into two to five segments, which varied wildly in length and content.  It could be anything from a ten second clip of Freakazoid butchering Chopsticks on piano to a ten-minute installment of The Sidekick Chronicles, in which Freakazoid is seen fighting alongside one-shot sidekicks.  They also tended to showcase other characters (most of whom only appeared once), such as the Lawn Gnomes, a Gargoyles parody in which mischievous gnomes are cursed by a wizard to turn to stone during the day. 

The low point of the season is probably Fatman and Boy Blubber, which is just one long, unoriginal fat joke that comes off as even cheaper, lazier and unfunnier in light of the insanely high level of creativity that went into the rest of the series.  My personal favorites are the Lord Bravery segments.  Just imagine Basil Fawlty as a superhero and, once you’re done recoiling in horror at the mere suggestion, you’ll know what to expect.

"Oh, yes, let me get the tea!  I'd hate to see either of you actually have to walk the three feet into this frightening, mysterious new world we call a kitchen!  You might get lost or attacked by the dishwasher!"

Another character deserving of mention is Fanboy, who is the personification of every bad nerd stereotype: overweight, acne, bespectacled, socially clueless, won’t shut up about his objects of obsession, stalks nerd-related celebrities… and unlike the Fatman segment, Fanboy can actually be pretty funny.  I am somewhat concerned that I find Fanboy’s rambling explanation of how Disney went bankrupt in the ‘80s to be quite entertaining and informative as opposed to terror-inducing.  But that’s my problem, not yours.

Appropriately enough, it is quite possible to divide Season One itself into two segments—the first four episodes, and the rest of it.  The first third or so of the season tends to toe the line between just plain weird and genuinely funny (see the infamous Handman segment from the pilot, which goes on about thirty seconds too long), which I guess is fair enough.  Gotta give ‘em a chance to experiment, figure out what works, what doesn’t, etc.  After those four episodes, the creators really hit their stride.  At this point, the show abandons the overly long gags and awkward moments in favor of goofiness and real hilarity.  Of course, the addition of the absolutely delightful and gleefully self-parodying Ricardo Montalban as recurring villain Gutierrez certainly helps.

"Because he tasks me--he tasks me!  Round the moons of Snibia, I chuckle at thee.  Beyond the Corpian Clouds, I chuckle more at thee.  Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins!  Kirk, old friend..."

And that, boys and girls, is why Ricardo Montalban is awesome.  The end. 

Now on most cartoons, you’d expect a guy like Gutierrez to be the best villain bar-none.  On Freakazoid!, not so much.  Oh, he’s definitely up there, but he’s got some pretty stiff competition from the likes of the Lobe, a hyper-intelligent mad scientist whose head is a giant brain with oversized eyes, or even Cave Guy, who has the strength of an ape and the personality of Thurston Howell III.  But what really interests me about the villains here is their unique relationship to the hero.  If you’ve seen Justice League: Unlimited (and shame on you if you haven’t), it’s very similar to the Flash’s relationship with his Rogues with a healthy dose of fourth wall destruction thrown in.  Freakazoid and his villains know they’re on a TV show, which may explain why they’re so cordial when they’re not trying to murder each other.

"Lobe?  I thought you were terrorizing Europe with some kind of cheese ray."
"I was.  But when the holidays roll around, I come home to terrorize the ones I love..."

Immediately after this scene, they began rifling through each other’s shopping bags to see what they got each other for Christmas.

Before I finish up, any review of Freakazoid must also give special props to the Emmy-winning theme song, written by Richard Stone and Tom Ruegger.  It was one of just two Emmys the show would win.  (The other was for the Season Two episode “Hero Boy,” but we’ll get to that later on.)  Just one listen to the theme should be enough to convince you that the Emmy was deserved: the melody is catchy, the lyrics are clever, and the puns are made of magical magic things.

As those of you who’ve seen Animaniacs, etc. have probably already guessed, a lot of the humor in Freakazoid! is aimed much more at adults than it is at the kiddies (unless you’ve already brainwashed trained your child in the ways of the nerd, in which case, good work).  That’s not to say the jokes are crude (a few of them are, but there's nothing truly offensive here), but be prepared to have a LOT of references go over your head unless you score Total Geek or higher on the Geek Test. Speaking from experience—I only score Geek, dangit—you don’t have to get all of the jokes or even most of the jokes to enjoy the show.  I really can’t begin to imagine why Freakazoid! isn’t as well-remembered as its sister shows.  Maybe because it was cancelled after two seasons—a fate that it totally didn’t deserve, by the way?

But whatever the reason, Freakazoid! is a criminally underrated, underappreciated gem, and if you're a fan of superheroes, cartoons, surrealism, comedy or all of the above, it's definitely worth a look.  Long story short, if you’re one of those people who needs logic and for things to make sense, go away.  If you don’t mind Andy Griffith Show references in your ‘90s cartoon theme songs for no discernible reason other than because it rhymed, come on in, there’s plenty of papaya juice to go around.

 

Well there WAS…

Next Time: If this miniseries is supposed to explore the ethics of lobotomizing a villain, why are the heroes the only ones acting like they took an icepick to the eye?

Images from Freakazoid!