So far we have seen:
A bunch of kids display more sense than Peter Parker
No, I will not stop with the One More Day jokes, darnit
An incredibly helpful nurse
An incredibly helpful old guy
An incredibly helpful person who turns out to be Loki
The Enchantress turn all of the adults present into toddlers
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
As Issue Three begins, we learn that Enchantress’s spell not only worked on Thor, Odin, and Beta Ray Bill (EEEEEEEE) but on all the gods of Asgard, leading to no small amount of chaos.
They once again
encounter that guy Koil/Loki, though they don’t realize it’s Loki just
yet. Obviously they didn’t read the plot
synopsis at the beginning of the issue.
Of course, that synopsis also included the Power Pack’s code names,
which I think have been used all of once this entire series. Heck, I don’t even remember what their code
names are. What is it with family groups of heroes that
makes secret identities so unimportant?
First the Incredibles, now this… what was I saying?
Oh, yeah. This time, Koil has brought his sick wife and
his dog along, a.k.a. Enchantress and Hrymer in disguise. Julie tells them that Odin was just about to
refuse them the Golden Apples before he was de-aged, and Koil kinda-sorta gives them
the idea to just steal the apples now that all the gods are, ahem, distracted. But Alex, being the
team conscience, doesn’t take kindly to the idea of stealing, not even for
Granny.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*hack,
hack, cough hack* I think I broke my squee-ker. *cough*
Anyway. To get to the Garden of Idunn, they have to
get through the Door of the Aesir, which they do, and follow the Path of the
Vanir, which they also do. Now all
that’s left is to defeat the dreaded, the awful, the terrible… Squirrel of
Mischief.
Aww, well he
doesn’t look so—
HOLY FLIPPING
ANIMAL CRACKERS IS THAT WHAT SQUIRRELS LOOK LIKE IN NORWAY?!!! Well I know what I’m gonna be having
nightmares about for the next DECADE.
Fortunately, it
takes more than a two-story squirrel to scare Katie Power, and she sends him
(it?) running with a blast of energy.
Katie is also the one to convince the baby-fied Idunn to give them her
basket. This is important because that
basket is the only thing you can use to carry the apples with for some
reason. And, since only Idunn’s hands
can touch the apples for another, equally vague reason, the Power Pack has to find a way to retrieve
them without touching them. By using their
abilities to dissolve tree branches and such, this is not a problem.
Dang, they’re
greedy all of a sudden, aren’t they? I
guess the idea is to keep Granny living forever, and I’m assuming the apples
will grow back, but how do they expect to use an entire basket of apples before they all rot? And yes, it’s made pretty clear these apples
can rot. And how do they know the apples
will survive the trip to Midgard, anyway?
If they’re that sensitive, who’s to say they won’t start rotting the
second they leave Asgard?
Anyway, the
Power Pack brings the apples back to Koil, who—dun dun DUN—finally reveals
himself as Loki and… what’s this?
THOSE STUPID
WEINERHEADS HURT BITTY RAY BILL!!! Just
you wait till Katie Power recovers, you cretins. May Odin have mercy on your souls!
The final issue opens
in the hospital, where the Power Pack’s oblivious parents are wondering where
the kiddies got to. Well, gee, it only
took you… uh… how long has this been going on?... to notice that YOUR KIDS are
missing.
Back in Asgard, the
Power Pack and the de-aged Asgardians are at the mercy of Loki and his associates. Loki exposits for a page or so about how
intricate his plan was—he was the nurse, the instigator of the Warg attack, and
the old man Koil—and how stupid the Power Pack was for falling for his
machinations. Unfortunately, he then
makes the classic rookie villain mistake of leaving the heroes alone without a
guard. And that, coincidentally, is also
the moment when the Golden Apples’ youth magic begins to wear off, causing everyone in Asgard to age rapidly.
But not rapidly
enough, if that hairstyle is any indication.
Guess that explains their affinity for disco.
Anyway, the
battle is cut short by the end of the world.
No, seriously, the rapid aging of the gods triggers the Norse apocalypse,
Ragnarok. Unfortunately for everyone
involved, Ragnarok is the time when Jormungand, giant serpent and Loki spawn (Norse mythology is weird), gets hungry
for Scandinavian cuisine and insists upon eating Thor. Everyone, including the Pet Avengers, tries
to prevent this, but a rapidly aging Thor is no match for a giant magic dragon.
Meanwhile, Julie
runs off and manages to break the spell that caused the initial de-aging, which
not only turns all the villains into babies (“spell feedback,” they call it—me,
I call it contrivance, but hey, semantics) but also delays Ragnarok. And I guess my joke about Jormungand being
polite was accurate after all—upon hearing the apocalypse has been called off,
he just sorta leaves.
With the end of
the world delayed, Thor brings the kids back to the hospital. And, in his civilian disguise of Dr. Donald
Blake (who looks exactly like a grown-up Alex which kind of threw me), he made
some very special applesauce out of some very special apples for the kids’ very
special grandmother. By the time the
now-plainclothes Power Pack reaches their grandmother’s room, she’s all better. Hurray!
Welp, there you
have it. I’m still not sure we can label
this a genuine comic book (WHERE WERE THE CHILD DEATHS? WHERE WAS THE DISMEMBERMENT?), but it’s a
thoroughly enjoyable read nonetheless.
The characters each have their own personalities and rapport, are
immensely likeable—heck, even Loki gets a wee tiny character moment when
he wavers on whether or not to let Odin die—and even when three-fourths of the
Power Pack decides to do something bad, we can still sympathize with them
because hey, we’d probably do the same thing.
Plus, the art is
beyond cute. I’m sure you’ve noticed by
now that it’s very manga, which in my book only adds to the adorableness. I love it when a comic book has art that is
not just good but also reflects the spirit of the book as a whole, and
that’s definitely what we have here—energetic, playful, colorful, and fun.
The synopses at
the beginning of each issue were enormously helpful to newbies like myself, although there
does appear to be some confusion about what Loki and Thor’s relationship
is. (Not like that, you pervs.) In the intro to Issue One, it’s stated that
Thor is Loki’s half-brother, while in the body of Issue Four, Loki refers to
himself as “a half-breed [Odin] adopted.” (You are now imagining Loki singing
Cher. You’re welcome.) And in the
original mythology, I’m pretty sure they weren’t brothers at all—adopted,
biological or otherwise—so now I’m all kinds of confused.
But really, I’m
just nitpicking now, and that’s what all of my complaints about this mini are. There is absolutely no reason you shouldn’t
run out (or to Amazon) and buy this immediately, especially for those of you
who, like me, maybe aren’t as familiar with the comic book incarnations of
these characters. It’s fun and easy to
follow, and while it’s aimed at kids, the fact that I don’t have to buy
ten different tie-ins just to understand the thing is a nice change of pace. One hundred refresher points for you!
And in spite of
the light tone, there is no miraculous “happily ever after.” Dr. Blake makes it clear that Granny still isn’t
long for this world, magic apples or no, and that the family should enjoy the
extra time as much as they can. Not very
effective, those magic apples, are they?
Maybe the Power Pack should have made a deal with Mephisto after all.
Next Time: There can be only one! And a sequel!
And another sequel! And a
cartoon! And a TV series! And a card game! And a reboot!
But for now, there’s only one.
Images from Thor and the Warriors Four
#3 and Thor and the Warriors Four #4
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