Avengerous Tales 1.21 - Avengers #41-#42

 

To read Avengerous Tales 1.20, go here!

PANCAKES!!!!

Since we left our heroes last issue, Herc has not been ingratiating himself to his housemates.

 

Literally three panels later, Quicksilver lets Hawkeye go because “he is a grown man.”  Two panels after that, Quicksilver’s dragging him away again at his sister’s behest.  Make up your mind—do you want Hawkeye to get pounded or don’t you?

But now let’s check in with the Black Widow, who has taken the sub plans and the jet she stole to China WAIT NO I MEAN a “nameless and unrecognized” “far eastern power.”  Her old superior, a Colonel Ling, greets her with suspicion and then immediately shows her his latest top-secret super-special project: the Psychotron, which sounds like an awesome movie crossover but is actually a machine that causes nightmarish hallucinations.

Why would the colonel show this top-secret super-special device to a person he clearly doesn’t trust, you ask?  Well, Natasha probably should have asked the same thing before going along with him.

 

Don’t talk to strangers, kiddies.

And that’s all we get from the Black Widow for now.  Back stateside, Hank receives a rather, erm, special delivery: the inanimate android corpse of Dragon Man, a Fantastic Four baddie who could only be brought to life through unknown means at the hands of his master, Diablo, who presumably drowned a while back.  No one’s been able to figure out how to bring Dragon Man back to life, so now Hank plans to take a crack at him.  But don’t worry: Diablo is totally dead and will absolutely not show up to revive Dragon Man.  Not even a little.  Really.  Promise.  Totally dead.

Before Hank can get started on the examination, the building across the street magically turns to gold.

 

PANCAKE MAN!  TASTIER THAN A PLATE OF WAFFLES!  HEARTIER THAN A BOWL OF CEREAL!  CAN DRAIN TALL SYRUP BOTTLES IN A SINGLE SQUEEZE!

Goliath suspects this might have something to do with Dragon Man, so he calls in the other Avengers for back-up. 

 

 

Of course he’s not calling for something as frivolous as a hot dog cookout.  He’s calling about an Avengers pancake breakfast.  It’s BYOS (Bring Your Own Syrup).

Naturally, the engoldening was Diablo’s doing, and before the Avengers can get back to Hank’s lab, Diablo arrives to revive Dragon Man with his dyna-disk.

 

Drinking game!  Any time Roy Thomas uses the word “brobdingnagian,” take a shot.  You probably won’t get drunk, but it will make you feel better about having to subject your eyeballs to that repulsive outrage of a word more than once in a lifetime.

Goliath and Wasp (but mostly Goliath) hold off Diablo and Dragon Man long enough for the other Avengers to arrive.  However, Diablo soon realizes he’s outmatched and turns the rafters to gold.  Since gold isn’t strong enough to hold up the roof (which begs the question of how that other building maintained its structural integrity, but anyway), it collapses on Hawkeye, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch.

They survive, obviously, but by the time they dig themselves out of the rubble, Dragon Man has flown Diablo, Goliath, and the Wasp back to Diablo’s secret hideout, where he plans to execute his master plan.  I’m guessing it doesn’t involve pancakes, but I’m sure Issue Forty-Two will have the answer.

(If you’ve read Douglas Adams, you’re totally chuckling at my rapier-sharp punning right there.)

The Avengers regroup at the mansion, where Scarlet Witch plays team mom to prevent Hawkeye and Hercules from punching each other—or, let’s face it, to prevent Hercules from turning Hawkeye into a stain on the rug.  Quicksilver’s the only one who does anything useful, calling up the Fantastic Four to get the address of Diablo’s evil lair.

 

That’s great, Herc, but for Zeus’s sake, put on some pants first.

Meanwhile, in his Transylvanian castle, Diablo explains his evil plans to Goliath.  He’s created a truckload of new Dragon Men, but he can’t make them come to life because the potion he used on the original was destroyed in Fantastic Four #35.  Diablo figures that, as the world’s foremost biochemist, Hank can help him recreate said potion more quickly.  Goliath’s having none of that… until Diablo reveals he’s holding Jan hostage, that is.

The Avengers fly to Transylvania and see their comrades’ plight via an “opti-scanner,” which is basically code for “we somehow got a camera into the cave Wasp is in right now.”  The Wasp is being guarded by Dragon Man, and Hercules rushes in to save her while the others track down Diablo.  Why they don’t have a camera in his castle too, I don’t know.

 

I know that’s a not-so-subtle jab at Green Arrow, but was it an insult or was Marvel admitting that DC’s bowman was more popular than theirs?  I didn’t think GA became popular for another couple of years yet…

More importantly, it does bring up an aspect of Hawkeye’s character I’ve neglected to mention thus far.  He’s been regularly lumped in with the Wasp as the weakest member of the team, and his comment here indicates some underlying self-esteem issues.  That’s understandable, given he’s on a team with a literal god, and I’m interested to see where they take this.  It would also go a long way to explaining his nasty behavior towards his more powerful teammates, though a) Wanda is a thousand times more powerful than anybody, and he’s never argued with her, and b) that still doesn’t excuse his behavior towards Cap in the beginning.

Then again, I was also looking forward to seeing how they dealt with Captain America’s attempt to train a new sidekick while mourning the old one, and I’m still sitting here waiting.

Enough ruminating.  The Avengers find Goliath, but when Diablo orders the big guy to stop his teammates, he does so.  The Avengers figure out pretty quickly why he’s attacking them, but that doesn’t make him any easier to beat.

Back with Hercules…

 

Y’know, Dragon Man is actually kind of cute.  He’s like a baby dinosaur.  A baby dinosaur of HATE.

But let’s not forget: we also have to worry about the Black Widow, whom we left last issue while she was being psychologically tortured by the Psychotron (that sounds dark, but let’s face it, that’s what’s happening).  Colonel Ling turns off the Psychotron, believing that the Widow’s mind and will have been broken, but he obviously doesn’t know Natasha as well as we do.

 

“Nothing must interfere with the Avengers Pancake Breakfast!”

Still, her escape attempt doesn’t end well, as Colonel Ling fills the room with sleeping gas and down she goes.

The Avengers don’t fare much better against Goliath until Scarlet Witch tells him that Hercules has gone to protect the Wasp.  That’s all Goliath needs to hear and he immediately joins his teammates in charging Diablo.

But Diablo won’t go down that easily.  He’s erected an invisible barrier between himself and his enemies, and he plans to take advantage of that fact by pulling a lever to destroy the cave where Wasp and Hercules are now.  WHO CAN POSSIBLY SAVE THEM NOW???

 

Yay, Cap’s back!!  Remember how I said he was accused of treason in Tales of Suspense #90?  Well the Red Skull decided to be a bonehead (what else?) and announce over a loudspeaker that Cap had been coerced into working for him.  With Red Skull supposedly dead (again), Cap was free to come and rejoin the other Avengers, and you can bet they’re happy to see him.  Now all that’s left to do is take down the barrier, which Cap does with Diablo’s tech, and defeat Dragon Man, which Hercules does by throwing him into a lava pit.

I mentioned this before in my review of Issue Eleven, but the callous murder of androids in early Avengers comics kind of disturbs me.  Granted, Dragon Man doesn’t appear to be as sophisticated as the Spider-bot was, but the whole point of the story is that he’s alive.  I guess you could liken Herc’s actions here to putting down a rabid dog, and Jan does express regret at Dragon Man’s demise, but still, I hope the Vision doesn’t find out about his team’s treatment of non-human lifeforms.  Especially since the Scarlet Witch wanted to save Dragon Man purely for scientific study, which is incredibly disturbing for reasons which some of you probably already know.

Our adventure in Transylvania ends with Cap blowing up the castle and all its potential Dragon Man clones, because that’s not an overreaction or anything.  What is it with him and blowing up buildings?

Back at the mansion, the Avengers have pancakes receive word that the Black Widow has been captured and—surprise, surprise—she was working as a double agent for SHIELD the whole time.  Hawkeye immediately declares he’s going to rescue her alone, but whether the Avengers will let him is a question we’ll have to save for next time.

It should go without saying that I’m tired of seeing Wasp used as a hostage all the time.  I’m actually kind of more interested in the Black Widow’s attempts to redeem herself and make up for past wrongs, but Hawkeye’s personality continues to improve and I’m still enjoying myself, so they must be doing something right.  I mean, this isn’t high art or anything, but it’s fun, dangit.

To read Avengerous Tales 1.22, go here!

Images from Avengers #41 and Avengers #42