Avengers 2.24 - Avengers #118-#119

To read Avengerous Tales 2.23, go here!

Once again we turn to The Defenders—Issue Ten, to be precise—for the next chapter of our ongoing crossover.  Here we see Hulk and Thor reviving their old rivalry, but they don’t get the chance to finally determine who’s stronger before the Defenders and the Avengers show up, together at last and ready to get to the bottom of how their feud began.
 

The Hulk is reluctant to follow orders any more but is eventually persuaded to give up the Evil Eye.  The Silver Surfer has brought along the other pieces, but before they can do anything with them, one of Dormammu’s lackeys sweeps into our dimension just long enough to scoop up the Evil Eye and deliver it to his master.  Dormammu promptly puts it to bad use, shifting Earth into his own dimension so he can conquer it and turning New York into a ghoulish monster-ridden hellscape.  I was gonna make a joke about that last part, but… nah.  Too easy.  Gotta draw the line somewhere.
 

We begin with the world’s stiffest dance party.  Well okay, they’re supposed to be pledging their lives to Earth’s protection or whatever, but tell me this doesn’t look like really angry dancing.

 

 

Dr. Strange casts a spell on the fourteen heroes to prevent them from turning into monsters like everyone else, and then commands his fellows to follow him to Dormammu’s dimension.  Captain America doesn’t want to leave, fearing that the monster-people will tear themselves to pieces without any superheroes there to protect them, but fortunately SHIELD shows up to combat the monsters, freeing up our heroes to go dimension-hopping. 

And so it’s off to the Dark Dimension, where Strange points out a trail that will lead them directly to Dormammu’s secret hideout.  Some, however, are a bit too impatient for the follow-the-yellow-brick-road routine.

 

Didn’t I see this in The Hobbit?  Is that what Gandalf looks like without his beard?

Up ahead, Loki is still whining to Dormammu about his as-yet-unrestored eyesight.  Dormammu’s had enough of that and locks Loki in a mystic cage in retaliation for warning the Avengers back in Issue One-Sixteen.  Oh and P.S., the Watcher has showed up, presumably with popcorn, to observe the impending battle.  He doesn’t really do anything though—unlike last time, he now seems determined to live up to his name.  His presence only confirms that awesome things are about to happen, since the Watcher only shows up during major, world-changing events.

Speaking of battle, the Avengers and the Defenders have run into a spot of bother.
 

 

The combined might of the two super-teams repels the Mindless Ones, and back on Earth, every hero (and even a few villains) are holding the line as best they can.  Now THIS is what I want from a crossover book: badass teamwork, not unjustified squabbling!  You go, everyone!  No, not you, Doom.  You still suck, even if you are trying to protect Latveria.

 

How can you not spy the Watcher?  He’s a three story tall man in a toga.

With a wave of his magic wand the Evil Eye, Dormammu knocks the Defenders unconscious and creates a giant pit of quicksand to trap the Avengers.  You’d think the Vision could turn intangible and float right out, but he panics, so only Iron Man, Thor, and the Scarlet Witch fly above the mire.  Their teammates urge them to go on ahead and end Dormammu’s threat.  Dormammu’s not finished playing, though…

 

 

If I were you, Tony, I’d be more worried about what I am wearing than what I’m not wearing.  Orange striped shirt and purple pants?  Can’t you afford to pay people to dress you better than that?

So that just leaves the Scarlet Witch, who Dormammu covers in the interdimensional equivalent of wet cement until she’s frozen in place.  Who can possibly save the Earth now?  Loki, of course!  He turns himself into a fly, escapes his mystic cage, and distracts Dormammu just long enough for the Scarlet Witch to free herself and blast him.

 

Not in the face!  Not in the face!

The Evil Eye’s blast restores Loki’s eyesight but also has the unfortunate side effect of turning his brains to Asgardian oatmeal.  But hey, at least the Earth’s gone back to normal.  The issue ends with Dr. Strange taking charge of the Evil Eye, which he still needs to save the Black Knight; deleting the Avengers’ memories of Iron Man and Thor’s secret identities (wait, does that mean Tony and Don no longer remember each other’s secret identities too?); and whisking everyone back to Earth. 

To learn the fate of our poor be-stoned Avenger, we must turn to Defenders #11, in which Strange does some more mind wiping to keep the Defenders’ existence a secret because of reasons (though he leaves the Avengers’ minds intact, again, because of reasons) and repairs the damage done to the Earth by Dormammu.

And here’s where things get weird.  Instead of finding the Black Knight where they thought they would, the Defenders are zapped to the 12^th century (by Merlin, as it so happens) to help the Black Knight (who has already been taken there) defeat Modred, Prince John and the Turks by freeing Richard the Lion-Hearted.  Namor beats them all with water, because if it’s good enough for Shyamalan, it’s good enough for the Sub-Mariner. 

Then the rightful owner of the Evil Eye, the legendary Prester John (long story, look it up), shows up and invites the Black Knight to hang around in the 12^th century with him forever.  The Black Knight agrees, though I’m sure he’ll regret it when he remembers Europe hasn’t discovered the toothbrush yet, and the Defenders all go home and split up to do their own things.

What the heck was that?  I don’t even know.  All in all, it’s a really random and bizarre ending to what up until now had been a solid and entertaining crossover event.  It’s also mega Islamophobic, but this isn’t an Avengers comic, so I’ll spare you the lecture.

Speaking of the Avengers, let’s go see what they’re up to.

 

The Black Panther saves their dumb butts and Scarlet Witch makes a snippy comment about how useless humans are.  But the Avengers have other things to be worrying about.  Namely, what do they do with Loki now that he’s got the mind of a child?  Thor, being the eternal nice guy, has the answer: he’ll keep Loki confined in the securest room in the mansion and care for little bro himself.  I want to be heartwarmed by this, but I get the feeling it’s going to end very badly.

Meanwhile, Panther and Mantis are chatting when Mantis suddenly goes into a trance.  Her magic empath powers are telling her that there will be trouble tonight at the Fourteenth Annual Halloween Parade in Rutland, Vermont.  If you’re wondering what a seemingly random New England town has to do with anything, the answer is here.

In Rutland, the Avengers meet up with their old buddy and parade organizer Tom Fagan… or do they?

 

 

“Tom” unleashes the unbreakable bearskins of Hercules upon our heroes (half of them, anyway—Swordsman, Mantis, Vision and Scarlet Witch are investigating separately), and they all fall unconscious as our villain reveals himself.  If you didn’t take a good look at the cover of this issue, I’m sure you’ll be very surprised to find…

 

 

Is he part space baboon?  He looks part space baboon.

Back with the others, Scarlet Witch loses her temper with some autograph hounds, prompting Mantis and the Swordsman to beat a hasty retreat until she cools it with the human hate.  They take a very nice little romantic stroll, which is interrupted when the Swordsman hears weird noises nearby.  It turns out to be a bound-and-gagged Tom Fagan—the real one—who tells them that whoever it was that greeted them earlier was most definitely not him. 

The Swordsman calls for Vision and Scarlet Witch, and Vision immediately comes up with a plan of attack.  What is that plan?

 

Bad plan, BAD PLAN.  Letting children near the hideout of a dangerous criminal?  BAD. PLAN.  BOO.

The kids basically annoy the Collector into running away, taking shelter in another room (he’s hiding out in the house Tom Fagan recently moved out of, if you’re curious).  However, the distraction lasted long enough for the uncaptured Avengers to sneak in and free the captured ones. 

The Collector, in a desperate bid to save himself, unleashes thousands of vampire bats on Rutland and refuses to get rid of them unless the Avengers let him go.  This is a stupid plan, since vampire bats usually don’t feed on humans, and being bitten by a bat won’t kill you except on the off chance the bat has rabies.  Even then, rabies vaccines have been around since 1885, so I think Rutland will be fine.

 

 

Why the heck would Tom Fagan have a thing like that in his house anyway?  Maybe he really IS a secret supervillain.

Mantis kicks Collector in the face and crawls into the passage after the stones while the others fend off the bats.  (You better hope Batman never hears of this.)  She soon returns, stones in hand, and makes the bats disappear to wherever they came from.  The Avengers take the Collector into custody, and Thor asks Fagan if Loki can live in Rutland under the care of Fagan and the rest of the town.  Fagan agrees.  What could possibly go wrong?

I’d still like to know why the mansion’s security went haywire and attacked the Avengers.  Shouldn’t they have programmed that thing not to do that?  If nothing else, Jarvis was home, so shouldn’t he have seen what was going on and turned it off?  Was he vacuuming or something?

To read Avengerous Tales 2.25, go here!

Images from Avengers #118 and Avengers #119