To read Avengerous Tales 2.14, go here!
I am going to
need so many tags for this.
Our star-studded
one hundredth issue begins in England, where every single Avenger ever to
avenge (minus Hercules) has been summoned to England by the Black Knight. That includes…
“Shut up, Hawkeye.”
Sporadnik is rushed to the hospital, and Thor follows so he can become Donald Blake and help as necessary. Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch wonder if the Vision knows more than he’s telling (see the “fiendishly clever human” remark). Captain America, meanwhile, has absconded with the last thing Sporadnik touched before keeling over: a pawn. Because symbolism.
Dun-dun-DUNNNN…
“Shut up, Hawkeye.”
Actually, the
Black Knight was chatting with Sir Percy, one of his knightly ancestors, about
the true fate of his Ebony Blade. If you
remember from Avengers #84, the blade
was revealed to be a mind-controlling weenie so the Black Knight threw it into
a magic well to be rid of its evil influences.
However, as it turns out, that well got the last laugh by spitting out
the sword into Olympus, where it was promptly discovered by Ares.
To add to the
fun, Enchantress (who now has white hair and is wearing a red version of her
usual costume for no apparent reason) followed the sword’s magic trail to
Olympus and is now happy to team up with Ares to destroy Asgard and Olympus.
Ares uses the
sword to destroy the Promethean Flame, turning it to crystal. As we learned in Avengers #49, the Promethean Flame is what keeps the Olympian
gods alive. Now that the flame is
crystal, so too are the gods, except for Ares who is protected by his sword,
and Hercules who is once again protected by his human half.
I don’t
know. Anyway, Sir Percy’s tale is ended,
and an unwelcome guest reveals himself.
Ares tries to
sneak up on our heroes, but the Black Knight and Thor (who saw he was in
distress and came back from Olympus to help him) make short work of the war
god, who finally gives the Ebony Blade back to its rightful owner. The Enchantress and the gargoyles, sensing
the battle is lost, flee to Olympus, where the Hulk is more than happy to beat
them up. The issue ends with Hercules
and Thor punching the interdimensional portal closed.
This issue was
pretty good, but for a one hundredth issue, it was a bit anticlimactic. Over half the issue is exposition—the real
action doesn’t start until page fifteen,
which doesn’t exactly leave room for the kind of big, epic, suspenseful battle
I’d expect from such a momentous occasion—and the art was just kind of eh. (The coloring mistakes didn’t exactly help
either.) Still, we did get to see all
Avengers, past and present, working together for the first time, and that’s not
nothing.
Avengers #101 brings us a new artist,
Rich Buckler, and also marks the second time that Harlan Ellison was called in
to write the story (though Roy Thomas still wrote the script). Well, I guess it can’t be any worse than the last time Ellison was on board.
So we begin with
the Avengers hosting/guarding a historic chess match between Eastern European
champion Sporadnik and a super-computer called Nimrod of all things. Sporadnik is a bit of a jerk, but all goes
well until he suddenly falls over.
Sporadnik is rushed to the hospital, and Thor follows so he can become Donald Blake and help as necessary. Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch wonder if the Vision knows more than he’s telling (see the “fiendishly clever human” remark). Captain America, meanwhile, has absconded with the last thing Sporadnik touched before keeling over: a pawn. Because symbolism.
Between Iron Man
and Don Blake, we discover that the pawn is covered in traces of a rare poison
from a very specific area of Brazil, which I’m pretty sure is the first time
this comic has mentioned an actual South American country instead of just
saying “South America.” Unfortunately,
Sporadnik is in a coma and isn’t responding to any of the antitoxins Blake
used, so it’s up to the Avengers to track down the poisoner if they want to
save Sporadnik and prevent an international incident.
The Vision, as
he so often is, is two steps ahead of his teammates.
We don’t know
who exactly Leonard Tippit is or what his deal is or where he got his magic
Goldfinger powers, but we do know that he’s able to take down the Vision. But when an angry Cap shows up, all it takes
is one punch and he’s unconscious.
Weird, but, hey. They won,
right? Break out the party favors!
Well, not so
much. Tippit sinks right through the
floor, and not long after, the Avengers start to feel dizzy. They find themselves falling down, down,
down…
Tippit’s an
accountant, as it so happens, and he’s confused why anyone would want to
contact a bland, boring guy like himself.
As he’s musing, the Watcher spontaneously appears in his bedroom and says
that Leonard Tippit is one of the multiverse’s most crucial elements—a “focal
element,” as the Watcher puts it—with the power to affect every potential
future in every world. The Watcher has
seen the future of the various Earths, and each one is destined to end in
nuclear holocaust if Tippit doesn’t do something.
The Watcher, of
course, can’t fix anything himself because he’s only allowed to observe, not
interfere (well, supposedly).
Tippit agrees to save the multiverse but is none too happy when he
learns what he must do: murder five other “focal elements” (including
Sporadnik) whose children will someday indirectly cause untold
destruction. So he’s a naked golden
Terminator basically.
Tippit zaps
himself around the world at record speed, putting each of his victims into
comas. The Avengers are always seconds
too late to stop him. By the time he
accomplishes his mission, most of his power has been depleted, enabling Scarlet
Witch to hex him. She and Quicksilver
then rush him back to Avengers Mansion, where Iron Man fits him with a special
power-dampening helmet.
And then the
Watcher shows up.
The Watcher
created that whole story about the five other focal elements (who will be fine,
don’t worry) so that the Avengers would get involved and drain Leonard Tippit
of his latent superpowers, allowing the Watcher to take him without a
fight. Or, well, almost without a fight:
the Avengers aren’t about to let some cosmic peeping Tom steal an earthling
without permission, but Tippit begs them not to interfere, declaring that he is
happy to give his life to do something important for once. And the Avengers, with heavy hearts, let him
go.
And Nimrod was
presumably dumped in a basement somewhere and left to rust until a group of
sentient appliances drop by and they all team up to save a bunch of animals. What? You can’t prove otherwise.
Anyway.
Why couldn’t
this have been the one hundredth issue?
Sure it wasn’t a
big sweeping saga, but it had something better: an absorbing story, lots of
intrigue, and a surprisingly likable and heartbreaking hero in Leonard
Tippit. I don’t think I’ve ever been
this invested or interested in the life of a side character in this comic. It reminds me of the kind of story you’d see
on The Twilight Zone except with
superheroes, and let’s be honest, there are very few things in this life that
can’t be improved with superheroes.
Oh well. Even if it wasn’t the one hundredth issue, it
was leagues better than Ellison’s last attempt at an Avengers story. He’s
definitely redeemed himself in my eyes, and Roy Thomas did a tip-top job in
translating Ellison’s story to the page.
Good show all around.
To read Avengerous Tales 2.16, go here!
Images from Avengers #100 and Avengers #101
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