Avengerous Tales 1.25 - Avengers #47-#48

 

To read Avengerous Tales 1.24, go here!

I assume that by now most people know who Magneto is, yes?  Well in X-Men #11, he tried to recruit a mysterious fellow called the Stranger for his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.  This just annoys the Stranger, who ends up transporting Magneto and his toadie, Toad (GET IT???), to an abandoned planet. 

But it turns out the Stranger is kind of a moron, as said planet has rockets on it, and Magneto uses one to return to Earth by X-Men #18, leaving Toad behind.  In this issue, Magneto tries to destroy the X-Men for the millionth time, but Professor X just sends a telepathic signal to the Stranger, who comes to retrieve Magneto and return him to the other planet.  Yes, the same planet that Magneto was easily able to escape from before, but for some reason, he doesn’t try the same trick again.

And that’s where Avengers #47 begins.

 

Despite having an entire planet to explore, Magneto is getting a little stir-crazy.  He detects magnetic rays coming from Earth and decides that he and Toad will use them to get back home, somehow.

And what, precisely, is the source of these rays?  They’re from the castle laboratory of one Dr. Dane Whitman and his assistant, Norris, who are trying to establish contact with alien life (always a good idea).  But Dr. Whitman is not your average mad scientist.  Do you remember waaaayyy back in Avengers #6 when Baron Zemo was putting together his Masters of Evil, and one of the members was a guy named the Black Knight?  Well…

 

That battle Dr. Whitman is talking about ended with the Black Knight falling from his horse and plummeting earthward.  Iron Man never found a body, but Whitman makes it clear that his uncle is dead and that he wants to do good to make up for the embarrassment of having a supervillain in the family.

Meanwhile, the Avengers are having their own drama: Captain America has decided to quit the group.  I hinted at this in the last review, but in Tales of Suspense #95, Steve’s desire for a personal life finally led him to expose his true identity and retire as a superhero.  Obviously that lasted about one issue, but the other Avengers don’t know that and are distraught, especially Hawkeye.

 
Dude, I was really starting to like you.  Don’t blow it.  Then again, she did throw something at him that one time…

Also, Hank and Jan leave for a pre-planned trip to Vegas, and Hercules tries to reconcile with Zeus only to discover that Olympus is deserted.

But I’m sure we’ll learn more about that later.  For now, in Castle Whitman, Magneto has transported himself and Toad there via Whitman’s magnetic rays.  (I’m sure that stomps all over science, but beats me if I know how.)  However, Whitman’s assistant Norris had already knocked his boss unconscious before Magneto arrived, in the hopes that he alone would get the fame and fortune associated with discovering an alien lifeform.

Mistaking Norris for the person who sent out those magnetic rays, Magneto orders him to teach him how to use the machine that sent out the rays.  Norris tries to send Magneto back to wherever he came from, and both he and Whitman end up in the dungeon as a result.

With that done, Magneto takes a minute to reflect on how he met his former associates, the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver.

NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED

NO ONE CRIES THEY WON’T RETURN
NO ONE LAYS A LILY ON THEIR GRAAAAAAVE

Magneto saves them from the angry villagers and then demands their servitude in exchange for saving their lives.  Back in the present, Magneto figures out how to use Whitman’s machine for himself and uses it to anonymously contact Pietro and Wanda and ask them to come over for tea and by tea I mean a giant murderous robot.  Luckily, our heroes defeat said robot with ease.

 

“I want a double cheeseburger with a side order of fries and a chocolate milkshake, and make it snappy.  Sitting around in a damp castle waiting for your victims to arrive really works up an appetite.”

But Wanda and Pietro want more from life that being Magneto’s lackeys and refuse his “offer,” prompting Magneto to attack them yet again.  This time, the onslaught proves too much for them, and they’re both unconscious by the end of the issue.

Issue Forty-Eight starts with Pietro and Wanda chained up while Magneto repeatedly asks them to join him.  He’s starting to sound less like a supervillain and more like a kid begging his older siblings to hang out with him.

 
(The art this issue was done by longtime Iron Man artist George Tuska, but he’s only doing this one issue.  Maybe Buscema caught a cold or something.)

Pietro waits until Magneto leaves and then he works one hand free.  Apparently he hasn’t learned the Flash’s trick of just vibrating through stuff.  He manages to pull a microphone from his belt (wouldn’t a radio be better?) and call the Avengers for help.  Jarvis answers Pietro’s distress signal and immediately sets about calling the other Avengers in.  And for some reason, the comic feels the need to show us what each of the Avengers are doing when they receive the call.  For instance, Hawkeye is running around NYC angsting about his fight with Natasha and the fact that Cap left, but mostly that last one.

 

What’s the pairing name for Captain America/Hawkeye?  Apparently I need to start making jokes about it.

Meanwhile, Hank and Jan spend two pages foiling a cheating gambler at their casino.  When Jan shrinks down to Wasp size (why I don’t know—are they going to fly back to New York under their own power?), her clothes (and Costume #4) shrink with her but her new mink stole does not.

 
That is the first worldiest first world problem I’ve ever seen.  Congratulations, Hank and Jan, you have out-Howelled the Howells.

And Hercules is being sad on Olympus, so he doesn’t get a call.  Even Stark technology has its limits.

If you’re keeping score, that’s four pages we just wasted when we could have cut straight from Jarvis receiving Pietro’s call to the Avengers assembling.

But let’s not forget, Wanda and Pietro aren’t the only ones locked up in Garrett Castle: Norris and Dane Whitman are stuck there too.  Well, actually, Norris is stuck.  Dane knows of some secret passages—it’s a castle, of course there are secret passages—that lead him right back to his laboratory.  When he gets there, he gives us a little more detail on what happened to his uncle Nathan Garrett, a.k.a. the Black Knight, during that fateful battle in Tales of Suspense #73.  Because if there’s one thing this comic needed, it’s MORE PADDING!

 
Two things.

One, they look exactly the same, which I would chalk up to family resemblance except that they also look the same age.  I guess that’s technically possible, but to be honest, older comics kind of had an issue with that—everyone from college students to middle-aged men look the same age.  Heck, if I didn’t tell you, would you ever have guessed that Hank and Jan are nearly twenty years apart?  Oh, yes.  It’s true.  See Avengers #227 if you don’t believe me.

Two, this panel composition is terrible.  Dude, you’re making a promise to your only relative, who happens to be dying.  Can you quit mugging for the artist for two seconds and look him in the eye?

Anyway, back in the present and dressed in full costume, the Black Knight steers us back to the plot by running off to get the Avengers for back-up.

Meanwhile, Toad overheard Pietro making his call and alerted Magneto.  You’d think Magneto would finally get the hint that no, they don’t want to play with him, but instead he takes them to his spiffy new spaceship and flies them to some other location… where he plans to give them one more shot at joining the Brotherhood.  Ugh, he might as well be going like “Okay, I’ll give you three seconds to join me!  Three… two… two and a half… two and a quarter…”

Anyway, the Black Knight.

 
OOPS.

Also, “puny weapons” is villain talk.  You might want to cut that out.

The Avengers attack the Black Knight for all they’re worth, not realizing it’s a different guy behind the mask.  Even though this is a perfectly understandable response, it makes Black Knight mad, and he accidentally knocks a cornice off a nearby building, sending it plummeting towards the civilians below.

Goliath/Ant-Man/Whatever risks his life to stop the cornice and succeeds, but he ends up plummeting off a building for his troubles.  The Black Knight catches him, and the Avengers are finally convinced he’s a different person.  They all make nice just long enough for the Black Knight to lead them to Garrett Castle, only to discover Magneto and his captives have vanished.  Then Goliath asks Whitman why he decided to take up the mantle of the Black Knight.  Again, that is a perfectly understandable response, but I guess the Black Knight is tired of spouting exposition and flies off in a huff.  Wow.  Jerk.

Wait, did anyone let Norris out of the dungeon, or is he still in there?

I’m going to reserve judgment on this storyline until it’s over, because from where I’m sitting, it’s an unfocused mess.  At first it was about Magneto getting the old gang back together, but then it switched to the Black Knight’s redemption, and we had to stop every five pages for a flashback.  Let’s see if the second half of this Avengerous Tale wraps it up nicely.

To read Avengerous Tales 1.26, go here!

Images from Avengers #47 and Avengers #48