Spitballing - "Pilot" (Arrow)

This isn't my normal review of the week--that comes on Saturday.  But I (finally) got around to watching the Arrow pilot that debuted on CW last Wednesday and really, really, REALLY needed to get some things off my chest.  This is by no means a comprehensive review; this is just me typing up some general, half-baked opinions that came to mind when I was watching.  Or, if you prefer, spitballing.  So if I come across as rambly and non-sensical, welcome to my unedited brain.

So in case you hadn't guessed, SPOILERS LIVE HERE.

First things first.  How did I like it?  Well, I kinda didn't.  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't horrible or anything.  And hey, I love me some Arrows.  They're my second favorite superhero team right behind the Bats.  But Arrow just... well, maybe I should just explain what I didn't like.

Let's start with the nitpicks.  No, I don't see the point in turning Star City into Starling City OR calling Dinah by her middle name OR calling Green Arrow just "Arrow" OR combining Roy and Mia into Ollie's previously nonexistent sister (What's her name?  Thea?  Oh, who cares).  That just annoys me to no end.  Especially the sister bit--why is everybody getting a sister here?  Ollie's got one--because hey, that's WAY more interesting than having him adopt a boy raised by the Navajo who becomes a drug addict and/or an HIV-positive former prostitute, right?--and Dinah had one too.  Was this just their way of shoving more estrogen into the show to prevent complaints?  Because I want Roy.  Or Mia.  And I don't even like Mia.  So my advocating for her being on this show is a very bad sign here.

Though speaking of sisters, I don't mind Dinah (no I am not calling her Laurel now be quiet and read) having a sister as much as I thought it would.  It's an expedient way of getting across that Ollie was a no good two-timing playboy.  Now from what little I understand of how comic book writers came to depict Ollie as a playboy, I'm not sure I feel comfortable labeling him as such, but that's probably a discussion best saved for another time.  Because it will be long.  And ranty.

Also, I'm really sick of the idea of two people hating each other when WE KNOW they will end up together in the end anyway, so the idea of Dinah hating Ollie rubbed me the wrong way.  But again, I'm still in nitpick territory right now.

Unless I'm completely misremembering my comic book villain names, we will soon discover that the mischievous ne'er-do-well best buddy Tommy Merlyn is also quite the archer.  (An archer of EVIL.)  I'm not real sure how to feel about that.  The whole "best friends who become frequently slashed enemies" thing just feels overused by now.  Batman has Two-Face, Superman has Lex Luthor... maybe they're trying to revive the whole Clark/Lex (Clex?) rivalry.  They already stole the Luthor mansion for Queenly purposes, so why not.  Of course, I don't know anything about Merlyn from the comics, so maybe that's the way their relationship really started out.  Still feels cliche though.

And now we're leaving the shores of Nitpick Island for the mainland of Seriously Major Issues.  First off.  That Latina maid who is very wise and whom Ollie loves very much?  Well, thank Rao for her being here!  Good to know the Hispanic maid stereotype is still alive and kicking!  I feel so much better now.

I did kinda like the idea of Ollie's mom being evil.  Especially since in shows like Smallville the mother was basically ignored after a while, and Clark would turn to his father for advice and inspiration all the dang time, it's kind of refreshing to see the female in a position of power.

I didn't like Ollie's dad anywhere near as much though.  I'm not sure I understand his motivation for telling Ollie what a jerk he is right when they're dying.  I guess I can understand wanting to unburden yourself so you can die peacefully but... your son is probably dying with you.  Wouldn't you want to tell him you love him or repent for mistakes you made that directly relate to your son as opposed to letting him die knowing you were a terrible human being?  It just makes him seem like more a jerk.  I think I would have preferred if Ollie came back to civilization still thinking his father was a decent person, only to discover otherwise and that's when he goes all vigilante on us.  I don't know.  Like I said, I'm just spitballing here.

And my biggest problem of all?  Ollie himself.  Why?  They turned him into Spider-Man, that's why!  He's Tobey Maguire!  And I flippin hate Tobey Maguire!

Okay, let me explain.  I understand Ollie is suffering from PTSD as a result of being on an island alone for five years.  Heck, I'm surprising he didn't completely lose his mind.  But whoever the main character of this show is, he ain't Ollie Queen.  I remember reading an article (CNN was it?) that explicitly said the producers weren't going to make Ollie a liberal, presumably out of fear of annoying the One Million Moms crowd.  Um, beg pardon?  You are going to remove your hero's most recognizable and interesting personality trait?  How stupid do you think people are?  I'm sure most halfway intelligent people can like characters who don't completely agree with their political philosophy (Archie Bunker anyone?), so why are you taking away the one thing that actually made Ollie distinguishable from Batman and turned him into a semi-iconic character?

And that's really what the problem is.  They stripped Ollie of his personality and now he's, well, Tobey Maguire.  He's a generic mopey vigilante who pushes away his delicate female love interest in hopes of protecting her.  I already explained why that's a stupid idea in my Spider-Man review, but it's even stupider here because Ollie doesn't have any supervillains yet!  No one has threatened Dinah, or anyone else for that matter, so why is he pushing her away NOW?  Maybe he's trying to be proactive.  Because that worked out so well for him and Hal in Cry for Justice.

I haven't checked reviews for this show on the internet, so I don't know if I'm in the minority or what here, but I'm in the minority a lot, so no biggie.  I will be tuning in again next Wednesday, but I can't say I'm filled with happy rainbows and enthusiasm about it.

EDIT 1:53PM -- And of course, their worst crime of all: not casting Justin Hartley as Green Arrow.  For shame.

EDIT 2:28PM -- I will give them a few bonus points for playing We Are the Champions for five seconds at Ollie's welcome home party.  Queen kicks butt.  The band, not Ollie. 

Image from wikipedia.org