To read Avengerous Tales 2.36, go here!
I’m sure you won’t be the least bit surprised to learn that one of these covers has a big fat lie on it. Comics, amirite?
Well I guess the Marvel universe needed someone to dump on now that the Swordsman finally bit it, and Hank Pym’s been elected. Again.
The Beast fetches a doctor (they ARE right outside a hospital, after all), but his best suggestion is to bring Yellowjacket inside. Even though, y’know, he’s 20 feet tall and still growing. Fortunately, the Beast is a little brighter and takes off for Brand Corp.
If you recall, Hank McCoy works for Brand Corp., trying to find a cure for mutation. Since we last saw him there, however, he was fired for taking too much time off, AND he found out that his contract with Brand Corporation effectively read “all your work are belong to us lol.” That’s why you always read a contract thoroughly before signing, kids.
(Except the iTunes contract. I’m sure that’s not important.)
So Beast is now reduced to breaking into his own former workplace in search of the cure that might just be Hank Pym’s only hope.
(I’m pretty sure I made this same joke a couple years ago. Kinda sad how it’s more relevant than ever.)
While Beast grabs the serum and makes a break for it, the Vision and Wanda are flying home after their truncated honeymoon. As they fly by, they see Hank’s giant body in the street and land at once to find out what the heck kind of trouble the Avengers have gotten into in their absence. Wanda uses her magic to slow down the rate of Yellowjacket’s growth, but they’ll still need the Beast’s formula to stop it for good.
Beast wants to test the serum out on a sample of Jan’s blood first (since she still has traces of the microbe in her as well—though I’m guessing it’s inactive), but the doctor in charge won’t let him near her until Don Blake shows up to vouch for the Beast.
Back with Iron Man and Moondragon...
After several hours of work, the Beast completes his miracle cure and hands it off to the Vision who, mirroring the actions Hank himself took to save Vision in the hilarious Avengers #93, renders himself intangible and enters Hank’s body. No not like that.
After some extremely questionable science, the Vision successfully delivers Beast’s cure, and Hank shrinks back to normal size. And wouldn’t you know it? Just as Hank gets better, Jan does too, and the two share a kiss while Thor... does whatever the heck this is supposed to be.
And now, a moment I’ve been waiting for since I started doing these reviews: the first Avengers comic drawn by George Pérez, who much (much) later will become the regular artist on a future Avengers series. Plus he’s my favorite comic book artist of all time, and I can’t wait to show you his work. If you’ve ever seen it before, you know you’re in for a treat... even if the inking is kinda subpar.
Yay, Cap’s back at last! And just in time to help Beast fend off some goons trying to murder him. Isn’t that a coincidence?
Well, no. Cap’s been tracking this particular goon squad for a while, since they work for the evil Roxxon Corporation. Really, is there any such thing as a coincidence in fiction?
So Cap and Beast rush to the hospital where Hank and Jan are still recovering from their respective injuries, and the other Avengers are all gathered ‘round for a visit. Cap asks to see them all on Avengers business, and so the bedridden Pyms are left to their own devices... for about fifteen seconds.
Cap takes the Avengers out for a stroll and tells them his suspicions about how Roxxon and Brand Corporation are somehow connected, which would explain why those thugs from earlier attacked Beast, who recently stole research from Brand. Their chat is cut short by the return of Iron Man and Moondragon, who report that Hawkeye is missing and that they suspect Kang the Conqueror is responsible because of reasons. (To be fair, they don’t exactly have a whole plethora of enemies who can travel through time.)
Thor and Moondragon head out to see what they can do about Kang, while Mystery Lady finally catches up with the Beast.
Still, the Beast is an honorable soul, and he decides to honor his promise anyway, asking Captain America if it would be okay to bring Patsy along on their latest mission. Cap objects on the grounds that it might be dangerous, but he has no choice but to relent when Beast reminds him of all the teenage boys he’s let tag along with him over the years.
So now the fun begins: the Avengers split up. Moondragon and Thor, still eager to find Hawkeye (for some reason), use Moondragon’s mental powers to summon Immortus to help them time-travel. Because he’s real reliable, isn’t he? Immortus guides them into the... timestream, I guess? It looks a lot like color-changing spaghetti with sprinkles. And wouldn’t you know it, before they can find Hawkeye...
Meanwhile, the rest of the team (and Patsy) break into Brand Corp. headquarters, not realizing that they’re being remotely watched by Brand CEO Mr. Jones and Roxxon employee Colonel Buzz Baxter... who just so happens to be Patsy’s ex-husband.
Not that he cares. In fact, he cares so little that he immediately dispatches the Squadron Supreme to deal with the intruders.
Wait a minute. Squadron “Supreme?” Weren’t they alternate universe—and decidedly HEROIC—versions of the Squadron Sinister? What happened since Avengers #86?
The Avengers manage to hold their own for the most part until Patsy, like a moron, decides she wants to punch someone too. This distracts Scarlet Witch, who is then knocked unconscious by Lady Lark, and that distracts the Vision, and before you know it everyone’s taking an unscheduled nap. Cue evil gloating from Jones and Baxter.
Gotta admit, I’m super curious to see how this all plays out, especially with Pérez on board. Maybe there’s hope for this new direction after all!
To read Avengerous Tales 2.38, go here!
Images from Avengers #140 and Avengers #141