Saturday, March 5, 2016

Avengerous Tales 2.19 - Avengers #108-#109



To read Avengerous Tales 2.18, go here!

We spin the Wheel of Artists for the last time today.  Dave Cockrum, Joe Sinnott, and Don Heck are the artists for Issue 108, and then our old buddy Mr. Heck once again takes over as the regular artist for the next few issues.

As a side note, we find out this issue that Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne recently “““died.”””  Just in case it comes up again in future issues, I figure I should mention it now.

So the Grim Reaper gloats about his victory over the Vision and declares that all they need now is Captain America, whom the Space Phantom promptly leaves to go get.

This proves to be unnecessary.

 
As it turns out, Captain America actually arrived late last issue—the hideout the Phantom is using now is the same one from Cap’s flashbacks, so he knows his way around pretty well—and overheard everything the Grim Reaper said.  He then signaled for the Vision to agree to the Reaper’s bargain to stall for time.  (You didn’t really think the Vision would sell out his team, didya true believer?)

So Cap and Vision make short work of the infuriated Reaper and then take off after the Space Phantom.  They find their captured teammates instead, and who’s the first person Vision rescues?

 
Surprise levels at 0% and dropping.

They barely make it out the door (while quoting MLK and Patrick Henry for no reason—what is it with Steve Englehart and pointless quotes?) before the Grim Reaper, the Space Phantom and their hypnotized Hydra hordes are upon them.  The Phantom obviously wants to shoot Vision dead, but the Grim Reaper jumps in to save him, earning his former partner’s wrath.  Then it’s fisticuffs for everybody!  Yay!

The Space Phantom makes his way to a machine that shoots ultra-sonic shock waves, which knock out everyone except the Vision.  But the Phantom knows how to get rid of him: he holds a gun to the Grim Reaper’s head and threatens to shoot if Vision doesn’t surrender.

Obviously the Vision does so, and Space Phantom places him in a device that will kill him if he tries to change density.  But there’s a new complication on the horizon: the Scarlet Witch has escaped.

Assuming she’ll go to Avengers Mansion to summon Thor for help, the Space Phantom flies off on his alien motorcycle to get her back.  After doing so, he stops by the mansion to capture Jarvis and Rick Jones for no apparent reason beyond ‘because they’re there.’

 
“And much like your fashion sense!  Who picked those pants?!”

Back at his evil headquarters with all the captured Avengers (and staff), the Space Phantom gloats about what an emotional wreck Thor will be when he finds out everyone is dead.  Rick Jones makes a token effort to stop him, but…

 
The joke’s on Space Phantom, though, since Rick Jones and Captain Marvel occupy the same body, and by trying to imitate “two people” at once, the Space Phantom got thrown back into limbo.  Turns out the Scarlet Witch didn’t escape exactly—Vision sent her to tell Rick to let the Phantom capture him so they could put this plan into motion.  (So this time the Avengers have an excuse for letting the bad guy easily infiltrate their headquarters; they powered down the security on purpose.)

So the Space Phantom’s in limbo, the Hydra agents got all confused after his disappearance and were easily beaten, the Grim Reaper knows when to throw in the towel and surrenders himself to our heroes, Thor flew back from Vermont and is wondering what the heck happened… anything else?

 
Oh yeah.  That.

Wanda’s obviously (justifiably) upset, and the Vision comforts her, saying that his encounter with the Grim Reaper taught him a little something about brothers (even if the Reaper isn’t really his sibling), and if she needs a shoulder to cry on, he’ll be there.  The comic ends with the other Avengers sneaking out as the Vision and the Scarlet Witch embrace at last.

N’aww.  Looks like the Grim Reaper succeeded in helping the Vision become more human after all.

Aside from the overlong flashbacks, I really enjoyed this storyline and the way the Vision’s character keeps developing and getting more complex.  I’m not entirely sure why they felt the need to have the Space Phantom erase everyone’s memory about Steve’s secret identity, since Steve had already pulled a take-back on the spilling-his-identity thing by faking his own death… kind of… but I haven’t read those issues in a while, so maybe there really was a plot hole somewhere that this bit fixed up.

But now it’s time to begin another storyline, almost.  First, since Wanda brought it up, I think it’s time we find out just where Pietro’s been all this time.  If you’ll recall, we last saw the meteoric mutant in Avengers #104, where he was severely injured in a fight with a Sentinel, and then he disappeared when their headquarters was destroyed.  Where did he go?  To Fantastic Four #131.

 
Crystal, one of the Inhumans, and her magic pet Lockjaw accidentally teleported there, attracted by the same energy machine that was going to cause deadly solar flares back in Avengers #103.  Seeing that Quicksilver is dying, Crystal brings him with her to the Inhumans’ city, the Great Refuge, to recover.  There, Pietro and Crystal fall in love, which angers the Human Torch since Crystal was his girlfriend I guess?  Either that or he just had a crush on her and is being frighteningly jealous.

If you’re wondering why Quicksilver didn’t call the Avengers to let them know he’s okay, Crystal asked the same question.  Here’s Pietro’s response:

 
“So you’d rather worry your sister sick than call her when you’re not in peak condition?”
“Exactly!”
“That’s so hot!” *smooch smooch*

Anyway.

We start off in the mansion gymnasium, where Hawkeye is trying to punch away his feelings for the Scarlet Witch.
 
 
It must be said that, between his unrequited feelings for both Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff (and apparently he has a type when it comes to surnames), Clint has had spectacularly bad luck with women.  However, I’d be a lot more sympathetic if he hasn’t consistently been a douchecanoe about it.

Meanwhile, in California, some guy named Champion is late for his flight, so he has his driver literally chase the plane until he’s close enough to jump on and grab the dang wheels and make it stop.  That should have gotten him arrested, obviously, but since he owns the airline, they just let him board the plane and go.  How the other half lives.

Back at the Mansion, Wanda gossips with Tony about how sweet and nice and awesome the Vision is.  They’re obviously happy now that they’ve figured out how to be together, so of course Hawkeye pops over to be a prick about it.  After criticizing Wanda for not spending every second sobbing over Pietro—even though she’s done more than anyone to try to find him—he stomps off like a five-year-old who didn’t get the toy he wanted from the supermarket, changes into his original Hawkeye outfit (the one without all the cheesecake), and heads out to angst and punch stuff.


 So you didn’t really give a crap about Wanda*, you’re just upset because a) getting the brushoff so often has hurt your dudebro scorecard and b) your mere existence apparently entitles you to a “tumble” from anyone unfortunate enough to fit your standards of attractiveness, even if the woman in question has never shown a modicum of interest in you and has told you to buzz off repeatedly.  Also c) no you are not fun to talk to you are a condescending tantrum-throwing ass.

Out of all the things I regret on this blog, inventing the “Most Improved Avenger” category for the retrospective posts is on the top of the list.  I hate this guuuuyyyy.

Moments later, Hawkeye encounters our California airplane wrangler, a nine-foot-tall rich guy named Champion.  Champion offers Hawkeye a job giving him private archery lessons, and our True Man of Genius here doesn’t even bother to do a basic background check before jetting back to California with him.  But hey, he “thinks” he’s heard of Champion, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.  Because the last time they took a job from a rich guy it worked out so well.

Hawkeye refuses to call home and tell everyone where he went—because being mad at Wanda for no reason totally justifies worrying your entire team!—so Champion takes the liberty of forging a note.  Isn’t that nice of him?

 
Is it just me, or are Wanda and Vision looking a little underfed in this panel?

So Hawkeye spends a few weeks teaching Champion until there’s nothing left to teach.  He’s about to head back home when he discovers that Champion is maybe a tiny weensy bit crazy.

 
“I will trigger the San Andreas Fault, and drop California into the sea!”

No really, that’s his plan.  Aren’t comic book villains wonderful?

So Champion ties Hawkeye to one of the many giant bombs he’s rigged up along the San Andreas Fault.  He plans to detonate this bomb—and therefore all the bombs, since they’re connected—by shooting an arrow at it because Champion may not have his marbles but he sure has a well-honed sense of irony.

Lucky for Hawkeye, his team finally noticed something was amiss about that note he sent: specifically, it was signed ‘Hawkeye’ rather than ‘Clint.’  Earth’s Mightiest Heroes to the rescue!

 
If by ‘decorative’ you mean ‘stripperific’ then yeah, sure, I guess.  Do words just mean different things when you get above a certain tax bracket?

His suit has a force field that prevents the Avengers from touching him.  While they get their butts kicked, Vision frees Hawkeye, who saves the day by shooting out Champion’s bowstring seconds before Champion can fire his own arrow at the bomb.

Despite his role in their victory, Hawkeye has had enough of being “the stupid Avenger” and quits to go solo for a while.  I am not the slightest bit sorry.  I’ve really soured on Hawkeye lately, and I think a leave of absence is just what we both need.  Maybe if he spends enough time wangsting by himself he’ll realize what a jerk he is and stop it.

To read Avengerous Tales 2.20, go here!

Images from Avengers #108, Fantastic Four #131 and Avengers #109

*He could be lying about his feelings for Wanda to make himself feel better, but that in no way justifies any of his previous behavior, so I really don’t care.

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