Flash #53

Heyo!  It’s summer vacation and I have a little free time on my hands, so I’m going to review a few comics that I’ve always wanted to talk about.  And since June is LGBT Pride Month, the first comic on my hit list is Flash #53.  Don’t recognize it?  Let’s just say there’s a reason this issue is relatively famous, and it has nothing to do with the guest appearance by Big Blue there.

We open with our hero Flash (White Wally West edition) chatting on a rooftop with his best friend, unofficial sidekick and former adversary, the Pied Piper.  As you probably guessed from the name, Piper used his powers of music-based hypnosis to commit crimes, but after suffering a mental breakdown, he decided to go straight.  In a manner of speaking.

I love how low-key this coming-out is.  Piper doesn’t drag it out, and no one makes too big a deal about it.  It’s not even the focal point of the issue; it’s just a conversation between two friends.  Piper saw the opportunity to tell his friend about his sexuality and took it.  And how does Wally take it?  Well, not badly…

 

Wally’s thoughts after fleeing the scene, after deriding himself as an idiot a few times, are to praise himself for how “slick” he was in getting away without Piper noticing his embarrassment.  Yeah, sure, you keep telling yourself that. 

However, Wally really did have someone important to meet: the Man of Steel himself, come all the way from Metropolis to ask for help in saving Jimmy Olsen for the umpteenth time.  Jimmy had recently lost his job with the Daily Planet, so he tracked down a super-powered thief called the Silver Squid in the hopes of snapping a great photo and getting his job back.  You’d think a guy named the Silver Squid—he sounds more like an arcade game than a villain—wouldn’t be much of a threat, but Jimmy still manages to get himself kidnapped, and Superman’s rescue attempt doesn’t go much better.

Is that bad artwork, or does the Silver Squid have actual webbing between his fingers?  You sure we shouldn’t be calling him the Silver Duck?  (Why are there no colors that begin with the letter D?  That joke would have been better with alliteration.)

Anyway, the guy Squiddy is referring to is Hector Esquelito, the deceased dictator of San Felipe.  So what does the Flash have to do with all this?  Supes wants someone “brave and fast” to dig up more info on Esquelito, about whom the U.S. and San Felipen governments have been suspiciously secretive.  Wally agrees—because seriously, who says no to Superman?—and it’s off to South America. 

Meanwhile, Clark Kent heads over to CIA headquarters to ask about the Silver Squid’s involvement with the CIA, and the CIA’s involvement in Esquelito’s rise to power.  He is given the run-around and very kindly encouraged to shut his face.

 

Hehehehehe.

Back in San Felipe, Wally sees a suspicious figure fly toward what is, according to the locals, an island where the dearly departed Esquelito used to keep prisoners. 

 

Not sure why Wally’s eating tacos here, since tacos are a Mexican food and he’s off the coast of Chile right now.  And I couldn’t even tell WHAT that was supposed to be until Wally mentioned it in the next panel, so this panel’s a failure all around.

But for a seemingly abandoned island, there sure is a lot of security surrounding it.  Sharks, electrified nets, land mines, barbed wire, armed guards… what could they possibly be hiding out there?

 

Esquelito seems really cool about the fact that a superhero just invaded his compound.  And yes, this is Esquelito, a.k.a. the jerkoff who, according to the files Clark scanned, was kept in power by CIA funds siphoned through the so-called Silver Squid.  Squiddy got sick of that, but when he tried to quit, Esquelito had his wife murdered.  The CIA still funds and protects him, though, because they’re afraid Esquelito will rat them out otherwise, and we all know the CIA has a totally sterling reputation that cannot and should not be besmirched by accusations of meddling in other countries’ affairs.

Wally decides this arrangement stinks and kidnaps Esquelito out from under everyone’s noses, dragging him all the way to Metropolis where Superman is waiting with the Silver Squid and a rather reluctant Jimmy Olsen.  Flash all but throws Esquelito at Squid, but when the former CIA agent tries to take his revenge…

 

Turns out ‘Esquelito’ was a disguised Flash, who just wanted to get close enough to the Silver Squid to punch him, and the Squid burns himself out trying to beat our two heroes.  A bit anticlimactic, and to be honest, I kind of feel sorry for the guy.  All he did was try to follow his conscience, and for that his wife was tortured and killed by a monster under the protection of his own employers.  True, kidnapping Jimmy was wrong, but he probably felt like he didn’t have a choice.  It would have been nice to see the characters acknowledge this and at least try to have some sympathy for the guy.

So wait.  If the Flash was Esquelito, then who was the Flash?

 

D’aww. 

Oh, and Wally left the real Esquelito wandering around New York in his bathing suit.  I’m sure that won’t have severe political repercussions for everyone involved or anything.  And I’m sure Jimmy got his job back despite proving once again that he’s a giant liability that no one in the world could afford to insure.

This comic is pleasant.  Nothing special, but it’s the kind of fun and breezy read that I want from a comic when I’m not in the mood for crushing angst.  The only reason people really remember it, as I said, is because Piper came out, becoming one of the first openly gay comic book characters who wasn’t a) offensive (Northstar) or b) super offensive (Extraño.  Sweet mother of Kirby, Extraño).  The art is kind of scary in places, but it’s the nineties, so I’m just grateful everyone isn’t an over-muscled, pouch-covered, gun-toting Liefeldian monstrosity.

There are a couple of things the comic touches on that I wish had been expanded upon.  The Silver Squid’s motivation is one.  And then there’s this point early on where Wally does make a comment that’s vaguely… well, not homophobic exactly, but definitely ignorant: “But guys like that [gay people], you can always tell… there are signals,” he says (to his best friend who he didn’t even realize was gay until told point-blank).  This isn’t specifically addressed, but considering that Wally unconditionally accepts Piper by the end of the story, it seems like Wally was just dumb instead of outright bigoted and easily learned his lesson about assuming.  And the more important message, that you should love and accept your friends no matter who they’re attracted to, is made clear by the end.  The comic is a fun if not slightly dark read, and it’s quite cheap too, so there’s no reason you shouldn’t track it down as soon as you finish this review.  Which would be now.

Next Time: Whose side am I on?  Pixar’s.  Because this was a boatload more fun when The Incredibles did it.

Images from Flash #53