Saturday, February 23, 2013

Identity Crisis #7

So far, we have seen:

Jack Drake and Captain Boomerang prove that stupidity is both contagious and fatal.
Green Arrow never shutting up.
Flash discover that the League mind-wiped Batman.
Because they are terrible, terrible people.
Green Arrow (SHUT UP FOR ONCE) extol the infallible awesomeness that is Teh Mask.TM
Everyone simultaneously suspect Ray of being the serial killer for no good reason.

Also, before we begin, I’d just like to post a correction about a point I made last time.  I spent some time complaining about Green Arrow’s “the mask solves everything” (il)logic, and one of the arguments I made was that Ray Palmer’s mask didn’t protect Jean Loring from being attacked.  I actually did some research and discovered that Ray’s identity was public by this point, and much like with Ralph Dibny, we never get a good counterargument for why he’d be willing to risk his loved ones’ lives that way.  I still stand by the argument in general, however, because Robin and Superman’s identities are not public and their relatives were still threatened.

Okay now. *cracks knuckles* Let’s finish this. 

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Identity Crisis #5-#6

So far, we have seen:

Dr. Light regaining his memories
Dr. Light cleared of murdering Sue Dibny five seconds later
The League reveal their addiction to mind-wiping their villains (YOU NEED HELP, YOU GUYS)
Jean Loring attacked by…?
The League be stupid
The League be stupid
The League be stupid
Lois Lane threatened by…?

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Identity Crisis #3-#4

So far, we have seen:

Ralph Dibny wax poetic about his beautiful wonderful wife who in no way will meet a tragic demise in about ten pages, nosirreebob
Okay, so I lied
The saddest funeral in the history of comicdom
I’m not lying about that (seriously, bring tissues)
Our heroes jump so far to so many conclusions they must all be part flea
Dr. Light retconned into a rapist because DRAMA
I mean the male Dr. Light, not the heroine
Why would give yoursel the same names as a villain, anyway?
I mean really, that is just asking for trouble, lady, what were you thinking?
Our “heroes” about to get pwned by Deathstroke the Terminator

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Identity Crisis #1-#2

Continuing the tradition I started last year—specifically, discussing wretched and horrible things during the month of February—I will spend the next four weeks reviewing DC’s seven-issue miniseries Identity Crisis, released in 2004.

Now, yes, Linkara the Great and Powerful sort of reviewed this one in the form of a top 15 list that detailed his biggest problems with the series.  He says he avoided an actual review out of respect for those readers who still like Identity Crisis and think it was a good story.  Me, I’m not that noble, so here is a full-blown, step-by-step critique on what makes it so terrible.  Because liking something doesn’t make it not terrible.  Trust me, I listen to “Barbie Girl” for fun.

AND, as with the comics I reviewed last February, if you feel uncomfortable reading discussions and depictions of rape, you may want to hang out at Cute Overload for the rest of the month instead of this blog.